you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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