Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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