also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
