DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
