In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
