I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I think your dad took our porno
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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