I hate all girls vehemently.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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