Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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