Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
