Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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