So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
