so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
