we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
