He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
