It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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