it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
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