dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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