Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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