I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
