i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
she smelled like a LAN party
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Enjoy the penises
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
