Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
