Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
