Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
