anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
