Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
