You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
