but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
