He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
