Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
