Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
They should really pass out barf bags in church
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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