He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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