how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
