I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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