I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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