..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She announced her abortion via fbk
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
