Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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