I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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