Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
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