HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
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He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
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Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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