honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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