Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
