porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I've blown a few things in my day
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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