the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
