Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
