Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
