I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
In America we eat man semen.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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