Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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