Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
