somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I party with great urgency now.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
