I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
