mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
