I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
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It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
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Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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