I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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