Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
