My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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