Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
