I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
